What's Wrong With Me?

After breaking up with my ex for 5years. We are 1st love to each other 4 almost 5years together. But nw we seem to have lost touch. (although we have each other's contacts) Sometimes , I'm feeling we are v near to each other but far to meet. I am the 1 who end e relationship, cos i am really young at tat period of time (18yrs old) , my life is a just full of enjoyment with all my peers tat's y caused my relationship to end. It's my fault for not knowing how to balance. He do have a stable relationship right nw, so m i. But what can i do to make myself feel more comfortable? After grown up, tink back, i am still feeling quite guilty to him. Pls advise.... thanks.